theres no rhyme or reason. Squiggles just started begging me for a butt ton of pictures (she has an unhealthy obsession with Robert Downey Junior and then a random Dancing Padalecki in there too)

hello 2 out of the 3 of Ave's favourite men....and 1 of Liza's

AVE-OUT

Fangirl Life Tip #8

#8 - OTPs

OTP - One True Pairing

Let's start off with some pointers from Urbandictionary.com, this unfailing site for wonderful definitions.

• One True Pairing, used to describe a relationship in fiction texts (or sometimes real life) that you want to happen/ think works well together. 
  However I think that Only Tears and Pain is a better definition.
• When you have two characters in a show you like to pair together, and you want them to be your children but also be your parents but also you want to see them go at it but then you’re usually attracted to one or both of the people involved so ultimately what kind of complex is that.

To sum them up: characters that are together either canonically or not that you love so dearly it takes your life and ruins it.

For example: Kirk and Spock have made  my life explode in a flurry of feels, angst, books, fanfiction, and tears.

Like i said earlier, an OTP can be canonical or not, it really doesn't matter, but don't let someone bash you just because you ship something they don't.

Ah yes, Fangirl Life Tip #8.5 - Shipping.

• A term used to describe fan fictions that take previously created characters and put them as a pair. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer platonic ones as well. (Just think of "shipping" as short for "relationSHIP".)
• The act of pairing any two characters together. Lonely people do this to try to suppress their own loneliness. It usually leads to making terrible (I think you mean amazing) fan art.

If you are a part of a fandom, shipping something cannot be avoided. Usually ships are left out of canon and we're left to make up for our angsty desires through reading fanfiction till all hours of the night and into the morning and crying into a pillow.

I'm feeling in a gif mood today. Let's see some examples of ships that the major fandoms have taken ahold of and want more than anything if they arent already canon:

and why not make it painful because apparently the tv writers love to do that kind of thing

And that is why we have trust issues.

Now that we've explored the world of OTPs, shipping, and how much pain having such things can cause. Because afterwards you're left sitting there dumbfounded if your OTP is broken up clutching a pillow, sobbing, and crying  

Yes. the life of a fangirl is hard, but it is worth it.

Foreverandalways

Ave

Ave's suggestions of the day

• Anime
• Kuroko no basket
• Castle in the sky (movie)
• Show
• The Walking Dead
• Almost Human (Airing Nov. 4th on Fox)
• Book
• The Roar
• Fragments (partials #2)
• Movie
• The Cat Returns (Anime)
• *whispers* Star Trek

Fangirl Life Tip #7

#7 - Internet Friends

Ah the big issue nowadays. Is this person a 50 year old creeper who wishes to take my precious soul and kidnap it for his own devices? Or is it really this adorable 15 year old friend who messaged me once and sounds like the cutest thing on this side of the planet? Tell your parents about said friend and you'll get the same answer: "Don't talk to people online, you don't know who they truly are".

Well then. Do explain the large world adults have of internet dating. Isn't that the same thing? Only we aren't looking for someone to live with forever, we're just making friends with that fun kid from Germany who said hi to us.

Personally, i used to roleplay (see #12) as Sebastian Michaelis, and this girl came and roleplayed withe me on anon as Ciel. Well. Though we don't rp anymore, we surely are really good friends, i've even met her in real life and my mother approves. wow mom, and just last week you'd thought her a rapist/serial killer.

You don't just have to make friends on tumblr, there's also this really cool chat block on most tv and anime streaming sites called Chatango. The people are pretty interesting but hey, it's fun.

Anyways. Your parents will never approve, but even with that i must say some of my friends online have turned out to be really good people who are cool and have made my mother eat her words (I say that lovingly of course).

Don't get me wrong: some people out there are 1000000000 year old men who want us poor girls in a basement, so don't let your guard down, especially if they seem sketchy.

I'm also not telling you to completely go against your parents wishes and secretly hold a stash of people from all over the world, because if they find out they might not be very happy (been there, done that, bought the t-shirt).

Foreverandalways

Ave

Ave's suggestions of the day

• Anime
• Nausicaa of the Wind Valley (movie)
• Kimi ni Todoke
• Book
• Shadow and Bone
• Daughter of Smoke and Bone
• Movie
• Thor 2 (When it comes out. No one understands my excitement)
• Lord of the Rings

Olliven's Escape #4

I crawled to the foot of the bed and thrust my hand under, pulling out a dark black bag stuffed full of things. Like i said, a year of planning. I'd bought the bag the last week for a sum of 500 Republic Gold, the same amount my mother and father made each month at best combined.
It was worth every last coin. There was separate compartments like this bag was made for running away. There was a food storage section I'd already stocked full of what i thought were proper supplies, a waterproof part for clothes and other important things, and a little pouch on the inside that worked brilliantly for holding my citizen's I.D. and what little money i had left.
One of the boys - Kristoffer I think - called out my name in his sleep and my heart froze. I thought i'd been caught at first, and i was about to shush him when he went on and cooed Jamie and Jeffon's names as well before smacking his lips and starting to snore.
A sigh escaped my lips and i put my hands on the window sill, poking my head out and looking around.
Of course the coast is clear, anyone caught out of bed after hours is to be shot on sight, no one's would even dream of poking around out of place, especially in the slums where the police enjoyed showing up randomly and beating people down for the smallest of things.
I had to go.
No. I should stay.
But the government -
But my family...
A war was going on in my head, but i swung one leg over the sill, and then another, and before i could process anything, i was climbing down the wall. The perks of being poor is that your house isn't well kept and there are plenty of cracks in the siding that could double as foot and hand holds.
Dead grass crunched beneath my feet when i landed and i flattened against the house in case anyone had been near by. The road, for some reason, sounded like the safest route because of how noisy it was to travel through the grass. But then i'd have to go around road blocks until i got to the city.
That's where my year of planning came in to help me.
Where that year didn't help me, was preparing me for living out on the streets by myself.
I survived one, maybe two weeks until i gave up and sat down in an alley in the pouring rain with thirteen coins to my name, no job, no food, and no other clothes besides the ones on my back.
That's when a figure came up and extended a gloved hand to me. I somehow knew that if i didn't take that hand, i wouldn't survive. Those fingers clasped around mine and hoisted me to my feet. That was the first time i saw MAD.
To be honest, i didn't see him again until a year into my stay in the refuge. Ave was always going in and out of his room or office, but he never came to see us other kids...

*****

Olliven trails off and looks at Eyrin. "But that's a different story. You basically know the rest. I became MAD's scout, you ran away, came here, the government took everyone, and now we're at war. Such a happy end to a story, don't you agree?"

Olliven's Escape #3

Jamie, the second eldest boy, snorts quietly and turns over, his cool body pressing up against mine. That just made me want to stay even more. With my sister's so...how do i say it?...screwed up in the head, I was the last sane one in the family. My leaving meant that the nine boys were to be subjected to the same future as the rest of the Republic. Oh believe me, that whole year i kept wondering what i could do to bring them along. But with the youngest being a toddler who could barely walk, I figured I best leave them here with the adults. Then i thought about bringing Jamie, my 12 year old brother, but he was far too quiet and too loyal to think about running away. He could take care of the family when I'm gone.
I had a teddy bear named Tay-Bah - the product of my infant inability to say 'teddy bear' - who was my dearest love. He was brown and impossibly dirty, both of his button eyes gone and the string that used to be his mouth hung limply down, barely holding on. He'd fit in my bag, i knew he would, but I figured i'd be better off leaving him here. Two weeks ago I'd ripped open the seam on the back and shoved a hastily written note inside before stitching him back up again. If Jamie was as observant as i thought, there's no way he'd be able to miss it.
I drew in a long, deep breath, glancing at the clock.
11:59.
I closed my eyes and wished my birthday away so i wouldn't have to leave.
12:00. The lone grandfather clock that was my mother's pride and joy clangs 12 times, each stoke doing its duty to fill me with more dread.
I had to go. They'd be there for me within 8 hours, and the earlier i left, the further away i could manage to be before someone came looking.
It was time. Either i grew a pair and ran, saving my own skin, or I laid there and was taken away, which was a downside, but i'd get to stay with my family until I married out.
No. I had to go.

Olliven's Escape #2

Factory District - 2155

The night was cold and stiff, just like every other night, and filled with the constant thrum of the machines hard at work with sporadic gunfire intermixed. It's a miracle any of us got any sleep at all, but after a while all that stuff just becomes white noise in the back ground. Any other night I was the first to pass out, falling into the throes of sleep before any of my nine younger brothers could go and start their regimen of snoring, snorting, and talking; but that night, sleep wouldn't come. I was far too wound up, my heart racing as i stared out that window in silent contemplation about what i was about to do.
The clock across the room wasn't all that bright, but the longer I laid there, the louder the numbers grew, as if they themselves could proclaim my impending birthday to the government.
13. That's how old I was turning. Consequently that's the same age the Republic deems you an adult and you get taken away. A year ago almost to the day I'd seen my older, twin sisters, Adrian and Ariana, who were bright young girls with wide eyes and curious personalities, taken away at the breakfast table. When they came back that night, the light had gone out of their faces and they ignored us younger boys, only stopping to converse in long complicated words with my parents.
That's the day I resolved to escape.
One year. That's all i had, but from that moment on, every minute i had to myself was spent planning and plotting this 'Great Escape', but now that it was there, I couldn't drag myself out of that bed.

Olliven's Escape #1

Central Repulique - 2157

"So what's your story?" The girl with the blonde hair and demanding blue eyes inquires, her tone even and blank like she expects an answer no matter what Olliven desires.
"Pardon?"
"You all have a story. I've heard Xalon and Harlow's, but you and Ave still refuse to tell me a thing." A pause before a sadistic smile forms on her lips. "You're from the slums, aren't you."
Olliven stiffens, his muscles tensing as his fingers wrap around the binding of the book in his hand.
"Knew it." She jumps up on the counter next to Olli and places her hands expectantly in her lap. "So. How'd you get out? I've always heard that the border patrol is almost as strong there as it is by the prison colonies."
"Had some help." His words are soft, more a mumble than anything as he pushes his glasses up his nose, trying to ignore the pesky girl flitting around him.
"Well, we've got a lot of time, MAD says we aren't leaving this bunker for a while, so, tell me your story."
He knows she's right, they've got at least the whole day to get comfy before MAD gets back and sends him out on another scouting mission.
A moments pause as he sorts through things in his mind.
"Sit there and be quiet the whole time. One interruption and I'm done." She nods her head in silent agreement, tilting it to the side in childish curiosity.
"Yeah you're right. I'm from the slums. Factory District to be exact..."

Avery's Journal part 1

Location: Hillside River District, Effran
Avery Elise Mason - Citizen Number: 0435277
Age: 16
Book Issued on: The 19th day of 114.5

The 21st day of 114.5

Have you ever seen someone die? I have. It's not all peaceful and smooth like they portray in the stories. It's a rough and unnatural process full of pain both for the one dying and those around them. My little sister, Rose Lyra Mason, died precisely four days ago. She was playing in the yard, I was on the porch with my little brother James, and our mother was in the kitchen preparing our snack. She had gone around the corner of the house, but I wasn't worried, everyone in our little village knew each other and we all were practically related. What I didn't expect was the soldier taking the back roads after a late night out. What I really didn't expect was the gun he had strapped to his back, to end up pointed at my little sister. We heard the scream far too late. By the time we got to her, blood was already pouring from the bullet hole in her side like a waterfall. She died in my arms that day. She was six years old. We held the funeral yesterday, but I sat in the back while mom and little James sat up front. They both cried, but i didn't. I couldn't. Teenage girls don't cry; Moms and little kids do that enough for all of us. It's my birthday today. I'm officially 16 now. Mother gave me this journal as a present. I must go, James is crying again. Mother's not right in the head, hasn't been since Monday, so I must take care of him until she is well. I wonder what father would've done.

Avery

I'm Going to rant. Be prepared

So it's just not been a good....what, school year(?) for Bailey. School started and then swimming got into its hard mid-season training and now the quarter is almost over so all the teachers are packing as many tests and grades they can into one week and UGH i am stressed. Not to mention that i can't breathe at practice and i constantly feel sick because of the weather. And cold rainy weather makes my knee hurt. Yippie. Well like anything could get worse, right?
Wrong. I'm driving home from swim practice today and its stop and go, people are slamming on breaks and swerving and it's pouring rain, right? Well i don't hit my breaks in time and i rear end this lady. Now i havent even had my license two months yet, so heck yeah i started crying like a baby. Turns out this is the third time in 6 days she's been rear ended, so, her bumper is already being replaced by the others insurance, so i don't know if i have to pay or not. Whatever. Mama and Daddy weren't mad at me, but i don't want to look at a car ever again, that was terrible! I felt so bad about it, but the lady was really sweet. That was about two hours ago....I'm still shaking. Also the person i roleplay can't be here to keep me calm because they're too busy with midterms coming up. Life. Why must you torture me? So of course through all this i have absolutely no desire whatsoever to do my homework...at all. So since i don't have terribly much, i'm going to procrastinate. And yes i don't care who reads this, i'm very open about my procrastination. Now is just not the time.
I'm sorry, i just had to get that rant out of my system. Now i have to go work on my fanfiction because liz and karen are yelling at me to write EVEN THOUGH liz took like 6 months to post her chapter. Gosh. People these days....

Fangirl Life Tip #6

#6 - the first con

So, you've finished your cosplay and you're ready and raring to go to your first con. How do you choose which ones best for you? Well, do what i did and find the con that's closes to your house and go to that one. that way you won't have to pay for a hotel or food or anything and it's probably much cheaper than going elsewhere. Don't take my word as law, but i wouldnt make San Diego Comic Con your first con. Too big, too much crazy, these are the kinds of things where you can start small and it's still okay. People with more 'con experience' may say you're crazy if you want to cosplay at your first one, but I did it and it was fine, so go ahead. When youre there, you should go to opening ceremonies where all the guests are on one big panel and being introduced. It's sort of like the 'kick starter'. Then you have other panels where you can go watch anime, talk to the guests, watch them preform, play cosplay chess, or have your picture taken. Also you have things like the Artist Alley and the Dealers room where you can buy merchandise and artwork done by some pretty talented people.
People will take your picture. If you're in cosplay, someone's bound to want your picture, so stay in character and get over it, even if you don't like pictures, because no doubt you're going to be off taking other people's pictures, and it's kind of an honour when somebody asks for yours.
Another word of advice: go find the people from your fandom and hang out with them, even if it's just for an hour or two, you'll find some good friends. I ended up meeting one person from my fandom, and then another, and then we had a whole entire group on the lawn adjacent the convention center playing games and doing stuff completely not run by the con! Also: if a Terezi or Gamzee tells you to draw on the walls.......don't. the con people don't like that.
And if you have body paint on. DON'T JUMP IN THE POOL. you'll just get all the homestucks kicked out.
Also.....if said Terezi or Gamzee tells you to lick a piece of chalk, go for it, it really doesn't taste all that bad.

Can i speak from experience here?

The first con is honestly the best thing to ever happen...ever. Buy it, sew it, borrow it, just cosplay, you'll be happy you did. I'm actually dying of excitement and anticipation about my next con in either January or May or both. I know i'm going to Animazement (come find me if you are too) but there's a con three hours from my house i may want to go to. 

Yay for being a nerd!

Foreverandalways

Ave

Ave's suggestions of the day

• Animes
• Lucky Star
• Castle in the Sky
• Show
• Star Trek
• STAR TREK
• Book
• To Kill a Mockingbird
• The Grand Guignol Orchestra (Manga)
• Movie
• The Hobbit
• Iron Man
• Miscellaneous
• Just go read Homestuck
• Or watch Star Trek, i don't know why i keep bothering to put these here.

A poem in which a child slays a dragon and i somehow tie it in to the fight between Innocence and Evil. (a.k.a i like to rhyme a lot)

From mountain trees
O'er stormy seas
Either with or wither back.

Slink away
From light of day
And nights that fade to black.

Strong and bold
A heart of gold
Attempts to slay the beast.

Soon vanquished
Sword tarnished
The Dragon takes his feast.

Far and nigh
To catch the high
To reach the brink of death.

Death arriving
Monster thriving
None live to their next breath.

Dragon deep
In his keep
The next man takes his stand.

Just a breath
Welcome Death
And walk out hand in hand.

3000 years
Lives and fears
Expended on the creature.

Adventurers
Explorers,
Mother, father, preacher.

One day
Out the fray
A little child walks

Innocent
Effervescent
All he does is talks

Manly men
peasant men
All who went before

Dead.
Dead.
Not to live no more.

How a child
Meek and mild
Can go and slay the beast?

With his voice
The Dragon's choice
To spare him from the feast.

Angel's words
The sound of birds
So pretty, petty, sweet.

The Dragon chose
He did suppose
This one he could not eat.

Poison drink
Cups they clink
Dragon drinks up quickly

Dragon unconcious
Child victorious
And out he runs quite briskly

Celebration
Exclamation
How did he ever do it?

Never telling
Never quelling
Dragon never comes from the pit.

Innocence
Effervescence
What does it have on pow'r?

Or strong and bold
The hearts of gold
Or every shape and flow'r?

So sweet
Such a treat
Where did his malevolence lie?

Innocence hides
The evil bides
Until the time is nigh.

Purity covers
Where evilness hovers
Thus don't judge the book by its cover.

Angelic smile
Devilish wiles
Lucifer in the form of a lover.

Witch Hunt: the end

"It weren't me!" she cries again.
"A month ago you brought Miss Wheatly on this court, promising me that she could not lie. Do you deny this?"
Jane Wheatly is the blonde haired blue eyed best friend to Maura. The two had grown up together, running and playing like sisters from birth.
Maura's voice is small in reply "I do not deny that."
"And did you not insist that I should trust her explicitly? That her word may be more potent and worthy than Alicia?" this brings about a gasp. No one dares question Alicia's validity, nor do they downplay her innocence.
"Aye sir."
"So is she lying now? Did you lie to me then?"
A pause. She could bring down Jane with her like the lying traitor she is, but loyalty keeps her quiet.
"No sir. Jane never lies sir. Never."
"Take her. My sentence is death by the gallows. Witches must atone for their sins."
"Sir. Sir!" Maura struggles against the men who come to take her away again. "Wait! Please wait."
"Hold"
She's let go, her face burning with a mixture of fury and embarrassment at the scene she's caused.
"My brothers sir. They've done no wrong yet you leave them alone with no mother or sister or father."
"And...?"
"If I'm gon'na die, Excellency, then please don't let them die too. This weren't their doing."
"Take her."
"No!" Maura screeches, her hands forced behind her back as she's pulled away. "Please! Excellency! They're just babies!"
Most of her words are lost in the tumultuous cheers of the crowd at another 'witch' forced off the street. Her last sight before the big wooden doors of the courtroom close is the pallid, ghostly face of a guilt-stricken Jane, and the smirk of Alicia who always seemed to have it out for Maura.

****

A week. That's all the time she has to get her affairs in order. She can't even give her siblings a proper farewell. In that short amount of time she stocked up her accusation to Alicia spilling her lies and tentacles into the very gullible, pliable mind of Jane. Apparently the people think a week is enough time to come to grips with the fact that she's dying at the young age of eleven because they show no mercy carrying her to the gallows.
"Be glad it weren't the stake missy." One guard hisses in her ear. "Hangin' is a lot more merciful than burnin' the skin off your bones. And it smells a lot better too."
Maura only silently notes that he himself smells horrendously like tobacco and beer.
The air is silent when she mounts the scaffold, head held high like a little queen before her subjects, the noose a welcoming little oval for her petite neck. For the strangest reason she finds herself thanking God for being taller than the average girl. She'd seen plenty executions, but the one that sticks out the most is the one of a 13 year old boy who weighed no more than a little kid. He had to stand on a barrel and spent the better part of ten minutes just dangling there since his weight wasn't enough to break his neck cleanly. He had to suffocate, it was terrible.
"Maura Rachel Reiner, you are sentenced to hang by the neck until dead under the accusation of being a witch. Are there any final farewells that are to be made?"
This is a common courtesy, in case anyone wishes to call out a 'goodbye' or 'i love you'. No one ever does because then they're shamed for holding onto ties with a criminal.
The air is silent and the herald is about to continue when a deep voice pipes up.
"It's okay Maura."
There's no face to the voice, a hat is pulled down over his eyes and he's shadowed by the fading sun and the huge crowd. But she knows that voice, it's the voice that sang hymns to her and told her stories when she was sick and in bed. Not a very learned voice, but one that knows the weight of work and a long day.
They'd found him, or he'd heard the news and run home, she doesn't know., but he's here and he can care for the boys. Maura won't go so far as to say that she can now die in peace, eleven years should just be her beginning, but at least she isn't dooming her family by this.
They fit the noose around her neck and she looks up to the sky, uttering a soft prayer as the hangman pulls the lever. The last sight her bright eyes see is the watercolour Massachusetts sky and the sun dipping behind the horizon, bathing her in a warm glow as she's quickly welcomed Home.

Witch Hunt: part 2

"Only a witch would try and hide the existence of her kind." The local lawyer who claimed to be representing the accused poses to the judge and the makeshift jury.
The court is filled with agreeing shouts as fists pound the air. Only recently did they start allowing citizens to participate in the court, but only to make the degree of shame higher for whatever poor girl who got caught.
"Please! Please take her away! It hurts!" Lisabet Fisher cries, her voice heavy with pain and the torment she's facing.
"There's a light! What is this? My God it's burning me! She's burning me!"
"That's the fires of hell. They know she's coming and are here to welcome her home. She's just trying to share her torment with you, drag you down too." Alicia Waters remarks. She's the only one who manages to keep her cool during these things. Rumor said that she had once been a witch herself, but turning back to innocence has rendered her impervious to witch attack. Apparently her time in darkness left her with the ability to know a witch, even if she isn't affected by her spirit.
Maura curls her fingers into the tattered remains of her once warm woolen shawl, squeezing her eyes shut and praying to God and her mother to save her.
"I never done no wrong!" she pleads, literally begging on her knees. Her blue eyes are wide and wet with tears, attempting to harness her childish appeal to her advantage.
"You lied to the court under the promise of truth. You have attacked these poor girls, and Jane Wheatly saw you running towards the woods after dark, clicking your heels and letting your hair down like a madman"
"I never did none of that. If I'm a liar then so are they! Have you ever seen a witch young as I?"
"She joined this court to protect her witch mother, Excellency."
"You have no proof!"
"You are the only one who wasn't affected by your mother's spirit when she sent it out, only a witch can hold off such an attack."
"Then why does Alicia still sit?"
"Alicia has returned to Jesus, she's a witch no more!" A stray man shouts, vying in favor of the smirking, devil-eyed brunette at the front of the 'jury'.
"Do you deny going out after dark?"
"It weren't me!"
"Jane, do you confirm your testimony?"
Jane stops, glances at Maura and falters. She's quiet for a long moment before tearing her eyes away from her ragged friend to glance at Alicia who gives an imperceptible nod "A-aye. I do, sir."

Witch Hunt: part 1

"Witch!"

The cries pierce the air as fingers wag and point at an eleven year old girl with matted hair and ragged clothes who kneels in the center of a crudely made circle ringed with a lone wooden bar to keep the onlookers back.

To her left a row of six girls twist and write, screeching out in pain, only one remaining where she sits, a smirk on her pale lips. Their white dresses are bright and gaudy, despite how much they've rolled around the ground on the pretense of 'witch attacks'.

If one looks close enough, they would see the poor girl in the center shaking, her eyes wide and glazed and fixed on the floor as her lips barely move, uttering her innocence.

Just a month earlier she'd been alongside the group of girls, moaning and writhing on the ground to call out witches. One month ago she'd been on the top of society, holding more power than their town preacher who, though he tried to stop this massacre on many occasions, held no more standing to do so.

Even the judge presiding over the court is resting the fate of 20 women in the hands of a group of girls no older than 15. "Innocence" they claim is what sets the 'jury' above the rest of the people. Untouched, virgin, pure, that's what helps smoke out witches. Apparently the accused had no choice but to send out their spirit to attack the girls, and that's when they were caught.

Maura Reiner had done that duty, sending 3 women to prison and 5 to their death. It was when her mother took the stand that she lost her gall to continue. Elizabeth Reiner was the widow of Marcos Reiner, the local jail keeper. Two years ago he'd gone crazy and ran away, leaving his wife and eldest daughter to care for four baby boys.

There's no way she could sentence her mother to die, that would just leave her alone in the world with a 5 year old, a 4 year old, and two two year olds. At eleven with no desire to marry anytime soon, there's no hope for their survival. So she sat. While her friends flung accusations and cries of "witch!" at her mother, she sat stone cold, her face even and dead as if this was the most boring thing in the world. When asked why she was unaffected, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and told what she swore she'd never tell.

"There be no such thing as witches, sir."

Oh did that cause an outrage. Four men dragged her off her spot above them and set her in prison for the better part of a month. The only time she'd been allowed out was when she was taken to the gallows to see her mother hang.

Now, kneeling on the floor, she's at the mercy of the very court she once served.

Fangirl Life Tip #5

#5 - Cosplay

Ah the epitome of devotion and nerdism. Is that a word? It is now. Well, it's pretty looked down on society but when you're a part of that ordeal, it's actually a pretty thrilling experience. Cosplay is where you go and you dress up like a certain character and take on that personality and go to cons and stuff and talk to people. Personally I'm a part of that whole Homestuck fandom and cosplayed that Meenah chick like the little nerd I am.

yeah that adorable little sucker.
Anywho off the embarrassing little glimpse into my past present and future: lets use those fail safe definitions from Urbandictionary.com to shed some more light on the subject at hand.

• Literally "Costume Play." Dressing up and pretending to be a fictional character (usually a sci-fi, comic book, or anime character). 

•  The habitual act of dressing up like comic book or cartoon characters favored by enthusiasts, nerds, and insane weirdos with a loose grip on reality.

• Short for "Costume-play". More or less the act of dressing up as an anime or video game character. Popular among anime fans and teenage Japanese girls

(Disclaimer: i'm being enthusiastically sarcastic with part of that please don't come beat me up in my sleep)


There you have it. Those everwinning examples of the Cosplay world. Honestly. Don't let anyone talk you down. Cosplay is actually really fun and can be kind of a cool thing, not that anyone outside of that realm understands it. But that's beside the point. 

Oh and then theres those people who shame you for buying your costume versus making it. Go on, buy it off the internet. No one will ever know, if worst comes to worst just show it off like you made it and everyone will be fawning over you. Mother Ave is a genius.

Coolkid 

Foreverandalways

Ave

Ave's suggestions of the day

• Anime
• Howl's Moving Castle
• The Familiar of Zero
• Show
• Avatar: the Legend of Korra
• Breaking Bad
• Book
• Prodigy (#2)
• Venus x Virus (manga)
• Movie
• Pacific Rim
• Phantom of the Opera
• Miscellaneous 
• Homestuck
• Go swim. it's a fun sport.
• Cosplaying. That counts.

the Mark of Cain

My whole life has been lived from one miserable event and milestone to the next. My dad left us when I was 2 and came back when I was 7, my little sister got cancer when she was 4 and I was 6, and died just before her 8th birthday. My older brother got caught up by drugs when I was 11 and almost committed suicide on my 13th birthday. Ma became an alcoholic, my dad left again, and I haven't heard from my brother in six months. Everything bad seems to happen to those around me. My best friend in kindergarten got hit by a car and spent two weeks in a coma. I just thought that was life, that God enjoyed taking a little of my happiness each year until my resevoir of joy was completely run dry.
What I didn't know was that I'm a walking curse. No one can get close to me and be safe. Sure I'm perfectly fine and physically untouched,  but the emotional weight is crushing. I've become an unemotional puppet, but maybe that's for the best so no one wants to get too close to me and therefore won't get hurt.
I'm the product of a sin, of an ancient curse that's been twisted and distorted over time. No I wasn't born out of wedlock or through an adulterous relationship, but rather I'm the lucky One of my generation.
Everyone knows the story of Cain and Abel, no matter what your religion is. Cain killed Abel and therefore was marked, doomed to wander yet protected from people harming him. What people don't know is that when he died, the Mark passed down to one of his descendants. Over the years, people tried to wield the Mark like some sort of power, and it became polluted and violent in response. Now, instead of saving the wearer from harm, it forces the person to wander by harming everyone around them.
A small little blemish in the pupil of my left eye sets me apart from the rest of society, like a little star formed from the black of my pupil that bleeds over into the blues of my iris.
 People wonder about me, trust me, I hear it plenty. How many 17 year old girls have no friends and never had a boyfriend? They calm themselves by blaming my history and familial past, but even then they're unsettled by me even if they don't know why.
Oh boy have I done my research on this, trust me, but my findings deter me more. Each and every bearer of the Mark had died or committed suicide before their 25th birthday. the last was a little boy who gave up and took his life at 15. May 13, 1996, consequently being the day of my birth.
What do I do about it? Nothing. That's part of the reason the Mark has grown so grotesque. People try to get rid of it or use it for their own devices, but they should know better than to try and harness or eradicate the power of God.
What are we good for? that's the part I've yet to figure out. What good is a bunch of kids who can't make friends, can't fall in love, and are usually dead by 25? Maybe one day someone out there will figure this out, maybe they can finally get rid of it. But for now I'm ridding myself of it.
The blade against my wrist is warm from being in my hand so long. The sharp edge pushes up against my skin, moving up and down slightly with each beat of my pulse. I could pass it on. Simple as that. Leave some unlucky little baby to deal with the nightmare that comes from this life. Would it be cruel for me to do that? But isn't it just as cruel to walk around inadvertently ruining the lives of those around me should I live?
All the notes of those before me said the same thing: The Mark was too much. Which scares me, because according to everything I read, the people went insane before ending themselves. I'm not insane, at least i don't think I am. How much longer till i lose it completely? Should I end it before then? Or will it hurt less if I'm not all mentally there?
A voluntary flick of my wrist decides that answer. My mom probably won't even care to read a note I leave, but I folded up a paper on the counter earlier anyway. It isn't a typical note, no, I'm not a typical girl so why would i do that? It's an apology. Maybe when I'm gone it'll reverse the affects of my life. Maybe it'll take the blemish where I existed and eradicate it. Maybe my brother will come home, maybe my dad will come back and pull my mom up from the bottom of the bottle. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Too many variables. Why won't the blood stop? God my head hurts. Everything hurts. Make it stop. Why doesn't the pain ever stop?

March 22, 2013 - Rex Hospital - Jane Lawrence journal entry
    It's a boy. Blond, full lips, chubby arms, and a face like his daddy. And his eyes, oh they're the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. Blue, and the right one has the most peculiar little blemish on it. Like a star jutting out from his pupil. Nobody can explain it, but I can feel that he's special somehow.

Fangirl Life Tip #4

#4 - The following fandoms you have absolutely no time for but join anyways.

So. You enjoyed the fast life of your first weeks on tumblr, but now you're seeing all those show and movie gifs and you're intrigued. Well. When someone says that a fangirl is lazy and has no life (while theyre completely right), just come back with the fact that we can do more things at once than any other person. Once you start a show or book or something, i can bet you 10:1 that you're not going to sleep until it's done. Sorry. Doesn't matter if you're in school or working or have to get up at 5 in the morning, you will get no sleep. That homework you were planning on doing? yeah good luck. though if anyone asks, just tell them you're learning Japanese from watching so many subbed animes, it's a good excuse. If you're planning on making the commitment to a new show, my advice is: Don't go on tumblr during that time because you just don't avoid spoilers on that website. You could be harmlessly scrolling down your dash and see a gifset of your favorite characters from that new show you just started and bam in five seconds an entire series is ruined for you.
My only bit of advice i can give is

The life of a fangirl is hard and time consuming, but some one has to live it. Why not us.

Ave's suggestions of the day

• Anime
• Free!
• Attack on Titanic
• Shows
• Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D
• Firefly
• Book
• The False Prince (#1)
• City of Ashes
• Movie
• Sahara
• Inception
• Miscellaneous
• Homestuck
• Welcome to Night Vale